Thursday, June 25, 2009

From 5:28 to 11:02

5:28 AJ rolls over and requests, “milk please?”  Everything is foggy…his voice is slightly muffled…I must be dreaming…it can’t be morning yet.

 5:29 AJ pokes me in the ear and kicks me in the side screaming, “MILK PA--LEA--SE!”  Okay, this is not a dream…he is really waking me up at 5:30 in the morning on one of my very few days of “summer break”. 

 I try to convince AJ to watch TV so I can sleep some more…I mean Abby isn’t even up yet…

 5:38 Fumble out of bed very groggy, attempting to shake myself awake enough to walk safely down the stairs and get AJ a damn…I mean…a nice, cold glass of milk.

 Why won’t my left eye open up…is revolting against getting up…no use of my left eye lid?...This can’t be good.

 5:45 Admit defeat and realize AJ really is up for the long hull…try to find clothes that look clean enough to wear...

 5:47-5:57 Fight with AJ about going potty IN THE POTTY.  Give up without success…return to the kitchen.

 5:58 AJ decides on his own that he needs to potty and pees in the potty!  What?!  Does it really matter if I ask him or if he thinks it is his idea.  (and yes I gave my child candy at 5:58am for using the potty)

 6:00 Greet Abby with a warm bottle

 6:02 AJ bursts into Abby’s room, startling her half to death, demanding a bowl of cereal…why didn’t I just make a bowl of cereal when I got his milk?...Mommy is not firing on all cylinders today.  This could be a long day…

 6:15 Try to convince AJ that hanging off the side of the glider and yelling about going to the park is not helping Abby focus on drinking her bottle and we cannot leave until she is finished eating.  AJ hides under Abby's crib.

 6:25 Abby finishes bottle, gets new diaper, and dressed for the day.

 6:26 AJ resurfaces from under the crib, grins and says, “park please.”  (I was kind-a hoping he would forget about the that.)

 6:28 Surrender and get AJ dressed for the park.  He doesn’t even fight the sun block.  Load Abby into the stroller…grab a cold Dr. Pepper…because I feel I deserve it at this point.

 6:48 Attempt to convince AJ that his bike helmet is not a hat and that he doesn’t really need to wear it to the park.  Pull out of the garage to head to the park…with AJ wearing the bike helmet...

 6:55 Arrive at the park, console AJ about the fact that no other children are at the park YET and it is okay to play by himself.  Take pictures and email to dad and Aunt Jess.

 7:12 Head to the bigger park…hoping to find kids for AJ to play with.  Pass several joggers, dog walkers, and bikers wearing Body Bugs on their arms as I drink my Dr. Pepper and attempt to steer the stroller one-handed.

 7:22 Arrive at big park…no kids...  AJ plays. 

 7:25 AJ has that look on his face.  Mommy asks AJ if he needs to potty.  AJ says no…and proceeds to poop and pee in his pants.

 How do stay at home moms do this?

 7:26 I inform AJ that we have to go home now and clean up after his accident.  AJ requests to be carried….right…AJ gets mad at mommy for not carrying him and starts making a lovely whining sound...similar to how whales communicate as he baby steps down the sidewalk in a bow legged kind-of “I have a load in my pants waddle”.  I just smile and nod at passing joggers.  

 8:04 Finally arrive home…after a painfully long journey to get there. 

 8:05 Get Abby squared away in her swing, give AJ a bath.  Get AJ dressed for the second time today.

 8:30 Attempt to fold laundry. 

 8:33  Abby is crying…AJ playing in sand box.  Snuggle love Abby and get her a fresh diaper.

 8:55 Attempt to fold laundry again.

 9:00 Go back down stairs to discover Kallie eating the rest of AJ’s cereal...and that AJ has decided to move his sand box into the dining room floor by cup loads.  Start straightening up the kitchen…carefully selecting tasks that AJ will not undo in seconds flat.

 9:30 Throw a load in the washer.  The following conversation unfolds,

Me: AJ get off of Kallie, we do not ride Kallie like a horse.

AJ: Why? 

Me: Because Kallie is a dog and doesn’t like to have you sit on her.

AJ: Kallie tired, close eyes

Me: AJ stop laying on top of Kallie and do not poke her in the eyes.  She is not fond of your game.

AJ: Why?

Me: (no response...)

Oh dear God,  is it ever going to be 11:00?

 9:45 AJ returns to his sandbox (he pretty much lives in there during the summer) and I check my email.

 10:00 I turn on the curling iron to start getting ready to go to lunch with daddy. 

 10:03 Remember I need to feed Abby…unplug curling iron and make a bottle.

 10:07  Tell AJ to stop flicking Kallie in the ear.  Sit on couch to feed Abby. 

 10:08  Wonder why there is dog kibble in my couch…

 10:28 Abby finishes bottle.

10:30 Give Abby a bath.

 10:45 Change kids to go to lunch.

 10:52 Change my clothes to go to lunch, run a brush through my hair…

 10:59  Grab the diaper bag…darn near biff it slipping on sand in dining room floor…

 11:02  Pull out of the garage.

 And that was only half of my day…

5 comments:

jessieg said...

OMG! I was laughing hysterically at work reading this. I love it. Or how you wrote it, not how your morning went.

Amy said...

I'm with Jessie. Ugh...you are FUNNY!

Katlyn said...

Happy Summer Vacation! Sounds like it is off to quite a start. Yesterday I had the joy of cleaning up projectile vomit...apparently cleaning gross messes is a mom thing.

mandysmusings said...

Wow, you're seriously making me reconsider having two kids :) Funny post, nonetheless.

bluebirdblessings said...

I love it!!! We should all track our time with the kiddies for a day... who needs a comedian!