Thursday, September 25, 2008

A Stressful Follow Up Appointment

As you know we had our 20 week ultrasound last Friday.  Yesterday was our follow up appointment where the doctor goes over the measurements and makes sure everything is okay.  I was a bit nervous going into the appointment because this was the appointment where AJ measured small and we were referred to a specialist...and I proceeded to gorge myself on any food within my reach...thus having a 8 and a half pound baby.  As I waited to be called into the exam room, a faint uneasy feeling was tugging inside, but I was not prepared for what blindsided us that afternoon.

The first question the nurse asked was if Genetics had called us.  That was an odd question.  Then I realized something was wrong.  Why else Genetics contact you after an ultrasound?  My heart sank as my breathe was suspended in the air.  I only half heard what she said after she explained that Abby had two abnormal spots on her kidneys...possible indicators of Down Syndrome.  Your world comes crashing down inside your mind and heart when you are referred to a genetics specialist.  

I held it together until I left the doctor's office and then the flood gates opened.  I couldn't even fully process what had just happened.  Shock was consuming all rationality.  We would love a baby with Down Syndrome just like any other child, but I was overwhelmed with how my life seemed to change from one question...Has Genetics called you?

I was fearful of the health complications and the impact on Addison's life.  The rest of the day just drifted by as I imagined every hardship Abby would go through.  I researched pyelectasis, Down Syndrome, uropathy until I couldn't even comprehend what I was decoding on the screen Wednesday night.  

As I was beginning to plan out how my life would change, the phone rang.  It was 7:30 at night and the confident voice on the other end of the phone was not familiar.  "Chance, this is Sandy from Genetics," she said.  It was 7:30 at night and a complete stranger called to reassure me that everything would be okay.  She was out of the office that day, but promised to call me by 7:30 the next morning after looking at my blood work to recalculate the probability of having a child with Down Syndrome.  I fell asleep with red puffy eyes from crying and nervous anticipation for the next morning.  

Just like she promised, at 7:30 on the dot Sandy from Genetics called back to confirm that we could safely rule out Down Syndrome.  I let my breathe out as I thanked God.  

Abby may have some complications with her kidneys after she is born or she may be perfectly healthy.  We can just pray in the mean time and make sure we get an ultrasound of her kidneys once she is born.  Being a parent can catch your breathe in the most profound fear one second and the most profound joy the next.  What an amazing blessing it is.  

After two abnormal ultrasounds at 20 weeks, I will never take a child's health for granted.  Children are miraculous and keep life in perspective.  What an incredible blessing.    


brenda1eye said...

What an unnerving couple of days! I'm relieved to hear Abby's passed test #1, and you certainly seem to be in the right frame of mind to tackle what (if anything) happens next. Here's hoping that you can enjoy a calm and 'typical' rest of your pregnancy, followed by a routine birth that brings an amazing little girl, safe and sound into your arms. I'll keep Abby and all of you in my prayers!

Allison said...

Oh heart goes out to you! I will keep you and your precious baby in my prayers!

Katlyn said...

OMG!!!! That sounds so terrible. Let B and I know if there is anything we can do to help. I hope everything works out fine but at least you have some good news for now. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything or if you need to talk feel free to call!

Kristy said...

My heart just wrenched reading your post. I knew from your e-mail how difficult the days had been, but you wrote it clearly here. You & Abby have been added to our prayer list at church. Rest assured, she will have many prayers on her behalf! My prayer is also that you & your husband find peace & strength during this time.