My favorite part of writing a post is creating the perfect title to pull you in and set the tone of the whole post. This part actually takes the most time and consideration, but I love it.
This post could have had a couple different titles, & I had plenty of time to draft them in my head at 1:47 am this morning:
Sometimes I Think Of Having A Third
The post would have continued something like this:
A third child that is. Then something happens with my first two children to make me realize that that is just crazy talk, and I tell my husband to just slap me if I start talking like that ever again.
OR I could have titled it:
God Hates Me
but I decided such a title was a little severe...
Ultimately I decided upon the current title...
slightly cynical, but not too harsh...
won't give my husband a heart attack...
might catch my readers' attention...
allows me to categorize several parenting experiences into one post...
perfect!
So here goes!
There are some things in the world of parenting that just seem too cruel or just plain impossible to be a reality.
I have three examples:
Example A:
Week 36 of my pregnancy with AJ I developed an annoying itchy rash on my baby belly.
I call my OBGYN office and describe the said rash to a nurse to which she replies, "Sounds like you have PUPPP."
Me: Oh, what is that, and more importantly what can I do to make it GO AWAY?!
Nurse: Well...PUPPP is a rash that less than 1% of women get.
Me: Lucky me...maybe I should buy a lottery ticket. Ha!
Nurse: It usually occurs in women having a male baby.
Me: Check, the precious muffin in the oven is a boy.
Nurse: And women with excessive weight gain.
Me: Check, I have gained 65 pounds...and could qualify as a new planet. But, really what can I do to make it GO AWAY?!
Nurse: Well, it usually doesn't dry up until the baby is born...
Me: Haha. Stop messing with me. I am as big as a house, hormonally imbalanced, and fairly miserable in this state of wanting to scratch my belly every. given. second. of. the. day.
Nurse: I am not kidding ma'am. This is real and unfortunately there is not much you can do...Aveno baths...anti-itch cream.
Me: Look lady.
This. really. is. not. funny.
You are sick and twisted to continue to mess with me like this.
Nurse: It could be worse, some women get it all over their entire body. And if you get it once, you usually don't get it again...
Me: right... (click)
Week 38: It does spread all over my e.n.t.i.r.e. body. I cry. I beg to be induced through my screaming and tears. I am denied it as it increases my risk of having a c-section.
3 days past Week 40 I. kid. you. not.
AJ is born...
via an emergency c-section no less.
The rash dried up within 24 hours of his birth.
PUPPP is mean
PUPPP is cruel, unusual punishment
PUPPP is real folks.
Example B of seemingly too cruel & impossible parts of parenting:
Potty Training.
enough said.
Example C:
The reason why I was awake at 1:47am this morning drafting this post in my head.
AJ has been doing this lovely thing where he wakes up screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.
That in and of itself is enough to jolt a parent into a special place in the middle of the night, but it gets worse folks...much worse.
It is not just a cry, it is a blood curdling, gut wrenching, top of his lungs scream.
He is truly freaking out. Terrified of something unknown. Sweating. His heart is racing.
Freaking Out, I tell ya, Freaking Out
His eyes are wide open with a startling look of crazed panic in them, but he does not recognize his very own parents.
He is inconsolable. Nothing. you. do. snaps him out of it.
This pure hell lasts from 30 to 45 minutes.
He has no memory of it the next day.
& the worst part:
There is not a lot we can do.
After talking to a friend about such traumatic nights, she said, "Sounds like night terrors."
humm?
So after a bit of research, Night Terrors it is.
& like PUPPP...we pretty much just have to live through it.
Usually peaks at age 3 and a half: Check, AJ is exactly 3 and a half
More common among boys: Check, AJ is all boy
Why is this happening?:
He is over tired.
What can we do?
Stick to a bedtime routine.
We do.
The child has a bedtime routine compulsively broken down into ten minute intervals.
Written on a poster.
With pictures.
Posted on his bedroom wall.
Night Terrors are scary.
Night Terrors are awful for everyone involved.
& although, they sound too distressing to be true, Night Terrors really do exist.
The good thing about examples A, B, & C is that
I have perfect, beautiful children, & their snuggle hugs cancel every bit of these mean, cruel, terrible realities out in one fell swoop.
5 comments:
I've heard of PUPPP...you poor thing. That sounds so miserable...and then being overdue? I feel so bad for you!
And night terrors sounds so scary. My thoughts and prayers are with y'all and I hope that they stop soon {{hugs}}
I'll tell you what's real: The grief I get for not posting a comment to every single one of your posts. Dare I expect the same? Hmmm? Naughty naughty.
Poor AJ! I bet it terrifies you when it happens too.
Clara had the night terrors. Have you tried to put him to bed earlier? We had to bump up her bed time and they stopped. I am sorry you are dealing with it!
But all of this makes for great stories later, remember that every crazy day is a blog post waiting to happen. -Dad
Sorry Chance, I hope it gets better soon.
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