These are three things that I have known, but they have truly been substantiated/authenticated/validated/confirmed this weekend.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
We will not be eating out with AJ again until he is...18. I knew in the back of my mind we were past the point of having a peaceful dinner in public as a family. I knew it was risky, but Andy and I were tired. I just wanted to sit and have someone(besides Andy) bring me a cup of hot tea and soup. I wanted Andy to have a break from making dinner. Eating out with AJ is always a gamble...hit or miss....you just never know how he is going to behave in his new found independence of being two. Well, Friday night was definitely a miss. The kind of miss that solidifies in stone that we are well past the stage in his life where we can expect him to sit somewhere in public for any amount of extended time and not disrupt innocent bystanders just trying to have dinner. We always half hold our breathes throughout the dinner, pulling out every parent trick in the book we can to keep him entertained and quiet. Friday night we managed to terrorize an entire restaurant of patrons at the most kid friendly restaurant on the planet. We requested the most secluded table in the place, yet we were still surrounded by people. AJ was pacified by the little cup of cheerios for about 3 minutes...okay so far so good. Then he chewed a tea bag for a couple minutes...phew...doing okay. Dad's promised cup of juice held us over for a while and then the bread sustained him. Andy and I were starting to relax, let our guard down...actually engage in a two minute conversation...and then it happened. It was so fast. AJ leaned a little too far right for his booster seat to support him. AJ and his cup of juice met the floor at ramming speed and the booster seat landed on top of him. Andy and I jump out of our seats as he lets out the most terrifying blood curdling scream. I swear the entire restaurant came to an abrupt stop. I scoop him up and run outside, relieving everyone from his tears of terror. He was fine...in the end only a small red mark by his eye, but he was totally traumatized. As parents, I'm not sure what was stronger...our sense of gulit or embarrassment. Needless to say, we got our food to go and went home.
I'm a wimp. After our lovely dinner, coaxing Andy to stay home from his night out with the guys(his only reprieve from his little two year old terrorist and his high maintenance wife), and feeling like I'm going to die...I head to Urgent Care at 8:45 Friday night. This is huge for me. I tend to avoid doctors like the plague...unless I think I'm on my death bed. I was pretty sure I was dying. It sure felt like it. An hour, a $50 co-pay, and a negative strep test later I'm headed home with advice to drink some orange juice and rest. WHAT?! No ear infection, nose looks fine, and a negative strep culture. I just have a COLD! Are you serious? This is not how it was suppose to play out. The doctor was suppose to confirm that I had some sort of rare exotic string of strep and that I was not just a wimp with a cold. It has been confirmed: I am a wimp. My only saving grace is to say that it is a cold compounded with being pregnant. It is not the raging sore throat or the sinus pressure or the headache (the only other time my head felt like this was the morning after my bachelorette party) that is getting to me today...it is the doing nothing(sitting on the couch curled up in a ball)...doing nothing(holding my forehead on the deck trying to make sure AJ doesn't take another flying leap)...doing nothing(sleeping most of the day away)...that is getting to me. I feel worthless. I do not rest well. I like to be busy. I am usually up going, going, going...taking AJ somewhere, redecorating the house, or working on some craft project.
Can you become a germaphobe at the age of 28? Andy says I'm in the wrong profession. I guess I do witness 7 and 8 year olds pick their noses on a daily basis and then I see them pass right by the hand washing station as they leave the bathroom...oh God...yuck. And then there is AJ who is not beyond sticking his little tongue up his lip to suck the snot from his nose right into his mouth...or this new thing that has developed...as food falls from his plate, he drops to all fours saying "woof, woof" and licking it off the floor. No wonder I am sick.
I have the best in-laws and husband in the world. As I rest, I do not have to worry about AJ's 2nd birthday party because my in-laws are hosting it. In my "pregnant with a common cold worthlessness" I haven't done anything for his birthday party. This is truly the biggest blessing for us right now. I barely have the energy to get out of bed to pee let alone coordinate a social gathering. I am profoundly grateful for their support and hospitality.
And Andy deserves the husband of the century award for remaining loving and kind throughout the last six weeks of hell. He does not complain about getting me an icy glass of water or bringing me some B6 or taking AJ to the park so I can nap or changing all the poopy diapers or for cooking/cleaning/doing laundry or for running to the store for Sudafed or a humidifier...he just says he loves me. Now that is dedication!
So for someone who is a wimp...I am the most blessed wimp in the world.
Posted by Chance at 2:28 PM
Saturday, July 12, 2008
DISCLAIMER: This is a very negative blog entry for me...please note that I am not usually a negative person...it is the pregnancy hormones talking. I will be back to normal in...about 7 months...I need a month after the baby comes for my hormone levels to readjust.
Being pregnant is not glamorous like imagined it would be when I used to look into the store windows at Motherhood and long to where maternity clothes.
I'm actually a rather miserable and worthless pregnant woman. Early on with all my pregnancies I can't stay awake for longer than five hours at a time, and I have an extreme case of morning sickness 24/7. I have tried really hard not to be the hormonal lunatic my close friends and best sis reported I was when I was pregnant with AJ...but my body sucks at being pregnant! Somedays I wonder...was my body really designed to do this?...then why do I feel like hell?
Luckily I did get through my parent orientation this last Monday without farting, burping, or puking, but I just never know when this pregnant body is going to forsake me. It must not have been like this for my mother...she had 8 kids! 8 kids! Two kids...that's it for us...I can't handle being pregnant again. It is the longest 12 weeks of my life.
The part I looked forward to the most...the "cute" maternity clothes part...usually turns into a source of anguish and tears as my boobs aren't as big as most pregnant women so the shirts fit funny, even my thighs and arms get huge...my belly sticks out, but my legs are too short for most maternity capris or slacks...and I just gave up on maternity dresses...I look as big as a house. Who wears that stuff? Everything just looks frumpy on me. I spend the day pulling up my pants and down my shirt...hoping that people realize I'm pregnant...not just oddly fat and cranky for no apparent reason. And the clothes thing doesn't end with pregnancy because even after AJ came...I still had a pregnant shaped body for months. Men really have it easy.
On top of feeling tired...pukey...bloated...I now have a cold. That's right...my throat feels like someone took a cheese grater to it...I have blown (literally) blown through a box of kleenex today...my head feels like it is going to explode...and my sinuses feel like a a lawn mower went through them.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired...
Posted by Chance at 4:35 PM